Sense of Certainty…

sleep don’t weep… whisper to me… let everything go…trust in me… touch me

  A Woman of Real Beauty smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress & grows brave by reflection and prayers…

I love you…she replied with a wide smile, yes I love mikey, mikey, mikey….hmmm being under anesthetic might make you loose control of your self-consciouness and you tend to voice out your inner feelings which is your true sense of emotions…

that particular scenario really makes me think…how far am I being truthful of my 5 senses…whenever one sees, hears, touches, smells & tastes…

can you be in a relationship where you don’t feel any of these and still hold on to it so that maybe one day it will all come together at once? i’m not sure about everyone else but so far I’ve been thru several relationships that has taught me a lot about ‘differences’…

              is it true what they say about ’soulmate’? does such wonderful thing exist? maybe, maybe not…depends on how you perceived it…there’s a guy I used to go out with, never did have strong feeling towards him but he was nice and pure…and strangely I have this weird sensation of emptiness…why is that so? he was perfect for any lucky lady but wasn’t for me…am i being greedy or selfish? i didn’t treat him well and was hoping that the relationship could end (i couldn’t do the dirty work of breakin’ someone’s heart) but i was good enough to create sumthin out of nuthin if you ladies know what I mean

and then came another guy…with loads of chaaachinGGG!!! it was short and sweet…NAHHHHH the most whorendoussss relationship of all…maybe it’s a rebounce thingy…don’t even have anything in common…our views of life n futures are totally chaotic, shooting in different directions…dunno why we were together at all…maybe of the chaaaachinGGGG hahahhaha…not denying that too but yeap it’s true money is not everythinggg…that phrase is quite accurate if you actually gone thru a traumatic phase in a certain point of your life…

I can go on and on about past relationships but it’s way pass my bedtime hiihihiih no seriously it’s in the past, no point in clinging to it too much…just lesson learnt, point taken now move! what I’m tryin to say is when someone like DR X - the loveable type, do everything that a man could do for a woman, send flowers, buy chocolates or diamonds, say I love you a dozen time….aka sweet talker, it doesn’t really feel real it’s just fake & superficial…if you give and give and surrender to women’s needs and desire….hmmm then you’ll be heart broken coz you’re not being in control and in charge…easy to be manipulated… it is just don’t feel right

•  

  i’m not saying be harsh to your woman or ignore her totally…a little bit of concern, care and love is enough…make her feel wanted, appreciated and desirable that should do the trick

• To really love a woman,
  To understand her,
  You’ve got to know her deep inside …
                  Hear every thought,
                                            See every dream,
                                            And give her wings when she wants to fly.
                                            Then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms …
                                            You know you really love a woman….

Pretty much sure that I have loads to say here but after a while configuring stuff, I tend to ran out of ideas. A friend of mine just gave birth to a healthy baby gurl. They named here Nana which means ‘Faith’. Funny as it seems that this particular word has always have big impact on me. How can you describe Faith? Faith & Hope goes well together. The other week I came across this dying plant. ‘It’ was left without luv n water for two weeks. For most people, they will either bin ‘it’ or couldn’t care less. I instead prefer to water ‘it’ and have a little bit of a chat every now and then. Without any much expectation of ‘it’ being able to survive, it finally and slowly gathered ‘it’ strength to fight back. I was amazed and touch. This dying creature can actually grows back and ‘it’ became stronger. Suddenly it snaps me! OMG how can I be so careless and faithless. Every little things can make a difference. No matter how small or tiny the effort is, it’s still  erm I don’t how to describe it but I’m sure you get what I mean.  Oh yes, Nana this little bundle of joy is the first baby that I ever touch and held. I was afraid at first, I never like children especially babies.  However, this year is exceptional as I’m ticking the box to face my fear! She was sleeping like a baby eh she’s a baby hahahahah…Then she smiles while still sleeping. She knows and can feel my fear. We bonded. Slowly she farted!!! Kurengggggg!!! My first babyfart!!! Better becareful next time!

I’ve been staring at ‘it’ from now and then weird feeling dashing thru me, is it because I haven’t set my priorities right or have I? Found my old diary which was filled with lots of innocent teenager’s dream…

Some of them were educations dreams, spritual dreams, family dreams and the list go on and on…

How many boxes have I ticked ? So far I’ve accomplished all of my educations profile but yet I’ve neglected my spritual and families…I’m thinking and too much thinking makes me a sleepless person…

This year it’s gonna be different, how about more action less talk…hey ppl say talk is cheap !!! I’m having a break, time-off to pick up the bits and pieces of my life…starting to put together the jigsaw puzzle and see the bigger picture…i’ve been chasing shadow..let me stop for a while and smell the coffee in the morning and singggg: " Breakfast in New York-  How do y.o.u like your eggs in the morning, I like mine with a kiss" arghhhh…yeahhh..

I’m feeling it…this year I’ll save it for …….:) it’s a secret…
I can only reveal my smile :)                                  

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart.

I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived" =)

• Snapping beautiful pictures
• Upload it in Fotopages
• Reading nice comments from viewers
• Gossipin’ with my mom & sistas
• Lookin’ gorgeous everyday
• Smellin’ fresh & yummy
• Learning something new each day
• Have all the attentions
• Jogging/exercising - feeling the blood rush
• Walking in the rain - water running down my cheeks
• Chocolate Fudge Brownies - slurrppp
• Oprah Winfrey Show
• Internal Designing
• Loud musics!!!

Rise then you shall ask these:

1. What am I happy about in my life now?
2. What am I excited about in my life now?
3. What am I proud about in my life now?
4. What am I grateful about in my life now?
5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
6. What am I committed to in my life right now?
7. Who do I love? Who loves me?

And they said life is full of surprises…right and powerful questions can shape the destiny that we’ve dream of. She sometimes stumble and falls, what might be the reason that pull her off and turn things around? It all lies on the questions she raised.

Ask and you will received. Seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.